To die or not to die

The flesh is enimity against God; the soul that seeks to love God cannot but hate the "old" man which is corrupt through its whole being.

Work around here is gaining momentum and we are getting slightly more productive than last week. The thought and the concept of self has been on my mind, i was wondering if it is wrong to love the self. Afterall the bible did ask us to love our neighbour as ourselves. Yet at the same time, the bible tell us to hate ourselves, Luke 14:26-33. This made my head swell. So am i suppose to hate myself and love others like how i will hate myself. A very bad equation indeed.

After putting some thoughts in it, the biblical algebra should look abit like this:

Love your neighbour as you will love yourself = Putting away your needs and fulfilling someone else's as though you will do it for yourself = Putting others before you = loving others more than you will love yourself = signifies the hating of self.

Are you lost yet? well i am. haha. I guess it really means this. Luke 14:26-33 spoke of the duality of man - the old self and the new self. Loving thy neighbour is equivalent to loving with the new self, that new glory within us that has risen with Christ, with our flesh crucified. It is impossible to love with the old self, for we will be "loving selfishly" which ends up manipulating others or becomes merely a transactional relationship.

As some of you all know, i have a room mate who snores very loudly and we will be togther in the same room for 3 weeks. I am a light sleeper and i cannot stand snores. I was really having some difficulties loving him. I tried to pray but i still confront that same "dislike" everyday and every night. And God spoke then, i need to die and be resurrected with Him in a new self daily. (You see some people will die in Christ and remain dead.)

So today, i choose to die and may i rise up to be a new man.